DRCs: 06-02-08

Oh yeah! DRCs…

I love god more than anything! even Nintendorks! – Erica Campbell

Brandon: This is the reason DRCs have been gone so long. I’m done mourning now.

My god. I just realized what ASPLM stands for.

For the longest time I thought it mean something about asses and palming them. Or something. – EmeraldTheMaster

Brandon: Join the club.

Does playing Brawl almost exclusively as Pikachu make me a bitch? I’m no good at the game, I do it because everyone hates hearing him shout his name every 2 seconds as I rain lighting upon them, usually from a level or two down. – dookie

Brandon: No, it makes you a funny bitch.

Gee, wish I had been special enough to be a part of your #studio64 DRC responses. I mean, I’m just in the studio all the time. But, no. It’s okay, though. It’s only my feelings that have been hurt. No big deal. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: If it makes you feel any better, I bet all those guys that were available feel good about hurting your feelings.

those were some good DRC’s the other day. – Mark

Brandon: I forget.

Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts? Furries + penis jokes = phail.

. . .right? – Jerkin Gherkin

Brandon: Why couldn’t you just write “Fail” like a normal person? You’re worse than anything you make fun of.

Carson Daly and Craig Ferguson should have a late night knife fight. Winner gets shot in the face. – Franky Doodle Dandy

Brandon: I hope Carson wins.

The Mole was fucking genius and I am very excited for it’s return (although I am also probably menopausal). You guys are out of your collective minds. And don’t forget how it put that Cooper Anderson guy on the map.

Also CNE, it’s: “If wishes and wants were candy and nuts, we’d all have cavities and high cholesterol. Get it right, you scarred hairy bastard! – A Sad Pathetic Little Man

Brandon: Maybe I’ll check it out if it doesn’t conflict with So You Think You Can Dance.

We’ve been getting a lot of tornados recently, so I decided to try finding the giant frog riding the cloud inside of one of them so I could shoot my arrows at it (for possible faster transport around town). Yeah, that didn’t work like it did in the game. – garman

Brandon: It could have been an illusion frog to throw you off. Try again.

I bought new computer speakers. Trent Rezner likes his bass! – SerratedEdge

Brandon: Who?

NO WAIT I MEANT REZNOR! REZNOR! DAMN! – SerratedEdge

Brandon: TOO LATE!

I can tell the special guest DRC comments must have been a pain to edit as you said, because about halfway through most of mine made it in. On an unrelated note, looks like I either need to not turn on the webcam or turn down the Culture Club in the background. – ANC

Brandon: So I guess about halfway through you stopped being funny?

I taped my wiimote to my plastic lightsaber and started another game of No More Heroes. How many types of awesome am I now? – jontomato

Brandon: Not very…unless you post a video.

First you start lurking on the boards a little bit. Then you finally make a post thinking its going to lead to some good old fashion discussion. The next thing you know you’re getting railed in the butt behind a 7-11 by Jameer for 6 bucks and a left-over slushie.

What? No, that wasn’t a cause-effect anecdote. I just wanted to tell you what I did today. – MrOodles

Brandon: What kind of slushie?

Whats up with you only playing Rock Band and GTA4? I keep checking to see if you’re playing CoD4 in hopes of luring you into a game but you keep breaking my heart! Stop it!!! *sobs and runs away* – Ned the Head

Brandon: Good news! I beat Bioshock last night, so with that out of the way I have more time to focus on CoD4…that is, as soon as I knock off GTA IV, Mass Effect, Dead Rising, and whatever other games I need to finish.

You know I’ve read the drc’s forever but I only sent them in like once or twice. I forgot what the name I used was so I’m going with this. Could you be a dear and go check every old drc and cross check it with this name to see if it’s the same one? Thanks. – DyingPancake

Brandon: I checked. It’s the same.I didn’t really check.

Really, how many banners are there? – Eldaron

Brandon: At this moment, 222.

Well now I know. I am the least funny #studio64 regular. – hero

Brandon: Knowing is half the battle.

I’m the one who confessed for preferring gay sex. – SuperRad

Brandon: WHICH one?

I was recording random TV shows the other day when I came across a show called Russian Roulette on the Game Show Network. It was not what I thought it was going to be. – clegg2121

Brandon: That’s almost as disappointing as the time I was invited to a swordfight.

I tried to make Rocky Road out of normal Chocolate ice cream today. The only problem was that I had big marshmallows instead of little ones. It doesn’t sound like big deal, right? Well, the truth is no matter how hard you try, you cannot convert large marshmallows into little ones. All you end up with is shitty little maimed bits of big marshmallow.

I learned a valuable lesson today. – R.O.B.

Brandon: That’s actually a really good lesson, thanks!

I lurked on IRC once, and on the forums a few times too! Does that put me in the lurkers club? I have no fear of rejection. Just nothing interesting to add. People on IRC told me to fuck off, but people on the forums don’t even know I’m there, so its sneaky.

Also, what’s up with there being no Poutine around here? Is that just a “the midwest is shitty” thing or is it nation wide? – DigDug

Brandon: I thought Poutine was only in Canada? I don’t know what you’re talking about…perhaps people in #studio64 can answer your question.

Someone should make an update about Yamauchi being named the richest man in Japan thanks to the Wii! – Eldaron

Brandon: Someone should mind their own business!

I cut my hair too short and now my head looks like a coconut. What should I do? – psychodevil

Brandon: Don’t leave your house for at least a month.

As much as the Studio DRC’s were a nice derivative from the norm that is Brandon, I hope this doesn’t become a regular thing. It’s like watching the Price is Right now. It’s still a cool show, but with a different host it’s missing the one thing that really made it a blast. – Dewey

Brandon: Yeah, Barker’s beauties.

Wait a second, these aren’t daily nor reader comments. – Clay

Brandon: Your browser must be broken.

Would you like a sandwich? – Shnuff

Brandon: I’m getting a gyro for lunch, be back soon!

I think most Nintendorks would love Jonathan Coulton’s music. Check him out if you haven’t already, I think I’m in love. Does that make me gay? – Encubed

Brandon: Oh man, I am stuffed! Seeing that pretty much all of us have played Portal and/or Rock Band, I think Coulton is somewhat well-known in these circles.

Which is more awesome Tommy or The Wall? – Dylab

Brandon: That is a TOUGH one…after much deliberation, and taking the movies into perspective as well, I would say Tommy.

It’s not the blue-shells that threaten cardiac arrest when I play Mario Kart Wii — it’s when I’m in last place on Rainbow Road and all I get is Golden Mushrooms. I’m already having enough trouble staying on the track as it is??? Why would I want to go even faster???? – Gator

Brandon: Because you’re riding on a R!**

Chris forgot to detail the burrito and his eating of it (I assume that’s what he did with it, anyways…one would hope…). She on you, Chris. Bow your head in shame, outcast. 😉 – 2Cold Scorpio

Brandon: Yeah, she on you, Chris.

I remember reading the DRC’s leading up to the release date of Ocarina of Time. Fairy Goo! – Goombabro

Brandon: I barely remember last week!

Oh, Chris – eating a burrito is NEVER “the end”. It’s only the beginning. – Jai

Brandon: I enjoy your philosophy.

I just got to play through Portal, and it was a blast. Ever since, I’ve had that “Still Alive” song running through my head.

Sorry, no cake jokes. – Gato

Brandon: How do you like Jonathan Coulton’s music?

Why didn’t I snag Boom Blox instead of We Ski this morning?! – Tootle Hot

Brandon: Because you didn’t read my review in time!

All questions about what coins do has already been covered. – WindFish

Brandon: Wow. Thank you for reminding me why signatures suck on message boards.

I got Wii Fit yesterday (super awesome, by the way). My friend came over to try it out with me, and we ordered a pizza and had some beer. I don’t think that’s the party atmosphere Nintendo intended on encouraging.

Also, as it turns out, when you’re exhausted from the aerobics workouts in it, wine is not the best for rehydration. – Emily

Brandon: Then you obviously forgot to mix your wine with ice cream.

Now that we’ve actually got reviews up on the site, what do we have to do to get listed on metacritic.com? Everytime I go there I see sites listed that sound like they’re run by 15 year olds out of their basement on their parents’ 3 year old Dell. – dookie

Brandon: We used to be on there, I think…or maybe that was gamerankings…I think I just have to e-mail them, and then they review the reviews, so perhaps when we actually have more than 1 review I’ll actually do that.

5 word review of indy 4 eh eh eh eh eh – gettinupkid

Brandon: I liked Indy 4, but you should have put a question mark at the end of the review.

Please hire me as your personal assistant. I really need a summer job. – Mark

Brandon: Sorry, I only take assistants assigned by court order.

Brandon. It’s me: SquirrelGOD. Come back to us, Mr. DeHart. We miss you and your oh-so-witty DRCs. They bring light, happiness, and hell, even LOVE into our lives. So, Brandon, won’t you come home? There are open arms and several Thai hookers waiting for you. – SquirrelGOD

Brandon: Only if the Thai hookers are male…althought I suppose that would be Thai gigalos.

is there really a bag? or is that a euphemism for something? – Kyle

Brandon: You can see the staff forum, you know the bag is two questions strong!

My five word review of your Boom Blox review: We share the same brain – CPG

Brandon: Ewwww.

DRC’s more like MRC’s am I right?*

*This DRC is obviously “green” because I just recycled jokes from 1998. – Eric

Brandon: Unfortunately that’s one year after we stopped being funny.

Do you really love me? – Pepper Jack

Brandon: More than Erica Campbell loves Jesus.

I’ve got tickets to Los Campesinos! on June 7th. You should fly out to L.A. and come with. – chrunck

Brandon: Maybe their singer will have cut his hair by then, good luck!

I love JBond and Navi. That is all. – Dazz07

Brandon: He is special, indeed.

What makes you happy? – REVLIK

Brandon: Being happy.

If you post this before I leave on Friday, it will be my last DRC as an Ohio resident. If you post it after Friday, it will be my first DRC as a North Carolina resident. – momtartin

Brandon: Welcome to North Carolina!

As an actual serious review of MKWii, I’m pretty convinced that Nintendo tailored it for the European market, which is why it emphasizes team-play in battle-mode, wider tracks, and 12-racer gameplay. – tomspug

Brandon: I do enjoy watching those European battle matches.

There’s nothing greater in life than hanging out with Captain Morgan, listening to bad ass Cowboy Bebop jazz, and beating the piss outta person unknown on SSBB online, unless there’s a lady kneeling in front of me with an imprint of my belt buckle on her forehead… – GodPlaysNintendo

Brandon: I think I just felt a breeze from all the women swooning.