Editorial: the shame of literacy

Justin published a news article yesterday evening.

It was fun, even delightful. This afternoon, I published a news article about the same information. Did I read Justin’s article? I don’t know. Maybe. What I do know is, there are millions of Chinese who cannot read, and yet China is already producing the world’s largest amount of sex toys. I produce none of the world’s sex toys. None. It’s because I wasted my youth learning to read and write. The sex industry, as I have come to call it, has a huge market, producing everything from vibrators to lubricants to pornographic movies. And what have I done? The hour hand moved beyond my notice as I shared the same worthless, yawn-stipating news we already put on the website. You could be shoving a Nintendorks brand dildo so far up your ass your rectum tears like a paper bag after the slow kid at the super market packed your groceries, but no, thanks to this curse of literacy, I decided to shift my focus from nipple clamp manufacturing to rehashed online news articles no one actually reads. Yes, to be gifted with the written word and yet to be silenced by emptiness. In one hand rests the pen. In the other, the monkey’s paw.