I Touched a Wii U Tablet and Here’s What I Think and Stuff.

by Ray on

Oh why hello there. Sorry I didn’t see you come in, won’t you make yourself comfortable. May I offer a nice warm mug of cocoa? No? Well then get the fuck out of here please, allow me to regale you with a story of the first time I wrapped my dainty, well-groomed ladyfingers around the new Wii U controller tablet. Needless to say I was very impressed and after pressing all of the new buttons in a quick run through the Rayman: Legends demo (I was hard pressed for time, you see) I of course have some um…thoughts? Yes, but that’s not the word I’m looking for here…opinions? Well, they are opinions but I’m still drawing a blank…hmmm. Oh, I’m sure it will come to me later. Just click the jump if you want to read some words I typed earlier about Nintendo.

Now typically if I know I’m going to buy something, I won’t “preview” it at all. I like to have my first experience with the system or whatever to go down in the comfort of my own basement living room. But this time I couldn’t resist.

So what do I think of the tablet?

Well, it’s kind of cool actually…I guess. Sort of. No, really it is. It’s far lighter than I expected it to be but also a lot larger horizontally. The screen doesn’t take up all that much space which means that it’s slightly smaller than I was hoping for. The cynic in me can already tell I’ll be writing up a Wii U tablet XL review around this time next year. Still, it does feel really great to hold and the stick and button placement are impressively natural. No complaints there. Overall not a bad little piece of equipment and I look forward to obsessively breathing on the touch screen and wiping it with a diaper.

I think the main problem that I had was with the kiosk itself. There were a bunch of games that you could select preview videos to watch but only one that was playable, that being the Rayman thingie. Why on St. Miyamoto’s green Earth Nintendo decided to not allow players to have a go at what new mechanics this controller offers to something like Batman: Arkham Aslyum or even get a hands on look at their new HD Mario game is beyond me. I mean, I guess when I really think about it it makes sense to have a second party sequel to a relatively unfamiliar-to-the-masses property headline consumer’s first taste of their new conso-oh wait NO IT DOESNT.

In any case, it’s now November 6th which means we’re just under 2 weeks away from the Wii U hitting store shelves. In fact, here’s the first official commercial:

It’s certainly slick but I’m still worried that anyone over the age of 50 or a soon to be ex-girlfriend is assuming that the controller is just an add on for the Wii and not an entirely new system. Nintendo’s decision to stick with the Wii branding is one that I’m still not convinced is the right move. Why not just call it the Nintendo U? It’s not like anyone is confused about who made the game that threw your alcoholic Uncle’s back out because he was trying to show off at Christmas by bowling a 300 after driving his car through your second cousin’s garage door. I mean, come on.

Here’s hoping the Wii U makes this holiday season yet another one you won’t forget (no matter how hard you try).