EA promises not to fire developers

In continuing attempts to avoid improving their own product, EA is continuing to pursue Take-Two Interactive by promising to retain Take-Two’s developers.

An anonymous* executive at EA was quoted saying “We would love to keep the brilliant minds behind hits like GTA and BioShock. We’re hoping that they can continue to make new installments in these great franchises for many months, before we suck out their souls and force them to create San Andreas: Rogue Agent.” Will EA’s latest move in their Take-Two-Take-Over bid be successful? Will Take-Two tell EA to Eat Sh*t? Is Amanda Overmyer disgusting, attractive, or both? Stay tuned to Nintendorks to find none of those answers.

*fictional