Nintendo succeeds, fails

Nintendo simultaneously succeeded and failed this past holiday weekend, with conflicting analysis of the sales numbers generated from consumers shopping on and around N Word Jim Friday.

Wedbush Morgan analyst Michael Pachter believes Nintendo is ready to clobber Sony and Microsoft, reversing a trend of slow sales it had been enduring. As relayed by Daniel Terdiman at CNET, Pachter stated that Nintendo is so uber-successful that what appears to be suckitude is really just less potent awesomeness. “You can’t really criticize Nintendo for [being so previously amazing]”, Pachter mused, clearly failing to understand the Internet. Pachter went on to add that Nintendo is “definitely going to be very solid and dominant this holiday season, but last year, [sales] were so large and dramatic, [it’s] going to be hard to compare to.” Meanwhile, Bloomberg quotes a different perspective, which is basically saying Nintendo is in the shitter. “These are weak numbers,” said Mizuho Investors analyst Etsuko Tamura. “There’s an especially strong sense that Wii sales are slumping.” This “sense” may be due to the fact that Nintendo only sold approximately 550,000 Wii units this past week, which is 30% less than Thanksgiving week a year ago. Tamura also “senses” that the moon is a big satellite which orbits the Earth.

Finally, despite Pachter’s rosy prediction, Jay Defibaugh (his family kind of coughed up their last name) at MF Global expects Wii sales to fall 10% in the second half of the fiscal year. Perhaps Nintendo will follow the philosophy of its handheld systems and release a slimmer Wii to boost sales, followed by another slimmer Wii, followed by a Wii that is so slim it is actually two-dimensional.