Nintendo causes multiple orgasms

A British woman named Amanda Flowers from Manchester fell off her Wii Fit board and suffered an unusual injury, according to The Daily Star.

The young caterer has been diagnosed with Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. “It began as a twinge down below,” explained Flowers, “before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.” Now any kind of vibration, from cell phones to blenders to presumably N64 rumble paks, creates the kind of dripping arousal that can only be satisfied with up to “10 sex sessions a day,” according to the article.

This disorder was first discovered and published a few years ago in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, one of Ryan’s favorite periodicals. Despite what one may think, the disorder is not related to the usual sexual appetite that is characteristic of all young people. In fact, the disorder manifests in the “absence of conscious feelings of sexual desire,” which is akin to starting a car without needing to drive anywhere, only instead of a car there’s a vagina.

Other literature suggests that it is not related to nymphomania, and is not caused by sexual desire or excitement. Boston University’s School of Sexual Medicine notes that the woman suffers from “genital and breast vasocongestion and sensitivity, with little or no relief form [sic] orgasmic experience.”

The Star article is as slim and teasing as we all hope Flowers is herself, and therefore does not provide much on the details of the injury. However, per the abstract written by the doctors who discovered the disorder, “no obvious hormonal, vascular, neurological, or psychological causes have been identified as underlying the symptoms of any of these patients.” It is possible, although questionable, if Nintendo caused her injury. Normally the arousal caused by Nintendo is quite specifically driven by sexual desire.